Tags
50 Shades of Grey, bad boy, books, Christian Grey, E. L. James, Edward Cullen, Elizabeth Bennet, feminism, good girl, happy endings, Jane Austen, literature, marriage, Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice, romance, Stephanie Meyer, Twilight, wine, women
“I really like him, but I also want to call security on him.”
Ah, the modern woman’s dilemma. What is romance without a little danger?
What is it that has made ‘bad boys’ so very attractive to ‘good girls’? I could speculate some theories, but I think it will be more efficient to take a look at some well-known literary heart throbs.
Let’s start with the most harmless:
Mr. Darcy
Handsome, rich and utterly devoid of charm. And yet, we (and Elizabeth Bennet) inevitably find ourselves sighing over him, pining for him, reaching out with desperate and lunatic cries for him. We find it totally satisfying that Elizabeth is able to put aside her own prejudice (or is it pride?) and pierce his moody cloud of pompous self-importance. So what’s the problem? They end up married, no serious emotional scarring occurs and we all rest assured that Fitzwilliam and his bride go on to lead a passionately normal life together. The problem is that hatred turned love is not the healthiest way to begin a relationship. Why do we find his cold indifference so appealing? Perhaps I am speaking too broadly, perhaps not all female readers feel their hearts flutter in anticipation when Darcy stalks into a room. But, as I said he is not the worst romantic lead out there and the classics are sadly not as widely read as more popular fiction. At this point I would talk about Heathcliff, but I’m afraid it’s been too long since I last read Wuthering Heights to make any compelling arguments. All I can remember from AP English is his seriously gross marriage to Isabella and that time he beat his head against a tree screaming Catherine’s name into the night. How their romance is considered to be one of the greatest in classic literature is beyond me.
*I am NOT saying that the following two novels are in any way comparable to the fabulous work of Miss Austen*
Edward Cullen
Yes, I read the Twilight series. Am I proud of it? No. Did I enjoy it? Unfortunately. Edward Cullen is arguably the wimpiest bad boy of literature. He sparkles, for one, and his whole self-hatred shtick got really old really fast. Yet we cannot ignore that he is, in fact, dangerous because of his burning desire to drink human blood. Vampire novels have seen a rise in popularity over the last decade but there has always been sexual tension where this mythological creature is concerned. Necks (where the jugular is conveniently located) are sensual, hot blood rushing through your veins is sensual, and in Edward’s case, immortality is glamorous and desirable (especially to our youth-obsessed culture). Bella wants it all, wants him, despite the danger association with Edward causes. How many times does she almost die? And let us not forget the wedding night festivities that manifest in huge bruises, torn pillows and broken furniture. I’m sorry, but Edward is controlling, vindictive, possessive and in some ways abusive. That doesn’t stop thousands of teenage girls from declaring themselves “Team Edward” and fantasizing about undead superheroes. Anyway, same idea as Darcy in the long run. Edward turns out to be a really nice guy, marries Bella, pulls her ‘up’ to his level of immortality and they live happily ever after. Gag me. Boyfriends like Edward (minus the necrophilia) exist and they don’t usually come with a guaranteed happy ending. The true danger of Edward Cullen is the appeal he grants to other men of his particular personality type. Which leads me to….
Christian Grey
I know these are two male characters who have been beat to death but I have to go here. I have to because I have read good erotica and 50 Shades of Grey isn’t it. An unpopular statement to be sure. He has sultry eyes and wears clean cut masculinity well; he has a sexy grip on control and we just ache to heal his wounds. Whatever. So, let’s talk about BDSM. It is a totally valid kink and if I had the time or energy I would pull up some statistics about how many real life couples at least practice light bondage activities in the bedroom. This is all fine and can be an enjoyable aspect of a healthy sex life with a trusted partner. The problem I have with Christian Grey is that seriously disturbing contract of his, his host of mommy issues (and here’s to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you could know), and his god complex. Also, all that drivel about the submissive’s safety and wellbeing is nonsense because her happiness is never mentioned and she herself admits to being scared witless of his “Red Room of Pain”. Actually, I really hated the book and I feel no shame in admitting that no, I did not read the last two and I hate them anyway. BECAUSE THEY END UP MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Hi ladies, the emotionally damaged guy who gets off on hitting you rarely turns out to be a charming billionaire who turns his life around and gives you a life of luxury and steamy sex for the rest of forever.
Are we noticing a pattern? Bay boy turns out to not be so bad and gets safely trapped into marriage while the good girl got to be a little naughty but didn’t get burned. That’s why we love the bad boys of fiction. They are completely unlike their real life counter parts because in real life the bad boys are bad news and bad things can happen. Even if he’s just cold and kind of mean, I’m sure you can find better out there; it’s not your responsibility to change him. I would go into ‘Why do women like to be hurt by men they love?’ but that’s a whole other can of worms. If you want a good novel that explores BDSM in an introspective and gorgeous way read Kushiel’s Dart by Jaqueline Carey. It’s a hulking fantasy novel full of danger, adventure, steamy bits and Carey’s excellent world building.
I toast these made-up men with a nice glass of Porto Krohn. It has nice blood-red color, just a hint of sweetness and a sensual flavor that will leave you aching for more. I will end on this: Enjoy those fictional bad boys, because who doesn’t like to be a bit weak in the knees now and then? But, be wary of the bad boys out here. Any romance can be thrilling. Life is only as boring as you make it.